breoaigit: (patchwork)
[personal profile] breoaigit

Okay, now I'm starting to get scared. I'm still all sorts of grateful to know what's wrong with me, and how it can be fixed. That's starting to take a rather firm back seat to this sudden thing staring me in the face: SURGERY. I do not like being cut upon. I freaked out having my wisdom teeth removed (internally...I didn't yell or scream or thrash, etc.) There are few things in this world I fear, and surgery is one of them. The others are remote control toys and driving over bridges. Yes, really. Anyway, I know logically it's a fairly straightforward procedure. Emotionally, little bells are going off to the effect of, "Uh, what did I just agree to?" Ah, well, all part of the adjustment process. Now here's the funny part...the part of this I'm the most squicked by is the catheter. I know it's necessary, but I wish like mad it were not. I do not remember if I've ever had one before, and if I did, it was 34 years ago. I did have a bit of time where I was slightly sad at the sheer permanence of no longer being able to have children, for all that I don't want any in the first place, and it'd be a logistical PITA to get pregnant anyway. I think it's just that the option is firmly being taken away now. I'm not sad about that right at this moment though. Maybe I won't be anymore.

On the other hand, I'll be able to go off BC for the first time in 22 years. ;)

Date: 2009-08-13 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My only experience with major surgery (herniated disk removal) happened so quickly that I didn't have too much time to worry. It was only about 40 hours from the point where I first went to the doctor to when I was getting prepped. They even skipped a lot of the morning lab work, so there was no waiting between arriving at the hospital and getting my IV.

So unfortunately I can't provide any words of wisdom on how to handle the worry. Not to say that I wasn't scared, but I just didn't have to deal with it for very long at all.

If it really starts to bother you, maybe you can talk to someone there who can walk you through what will happen step by step, so there are fewer surprises on the day? I know that would help me at least, since I am such a pre-visualizer. Spontaneity and surprises are NOT my comfort zone.

But I'm sure everything will be fine. And I send you my best wishes!

Date: 2009-08-14 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you! I don't know why, but really, you made me feel a lot better. I like the idea about pre-visualizing, too. I appreciate it. :) And hugs for your kitties too, since I swear I feel their cuteness vibes halfway across the country. ;)

Date: 2009-08-14 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I doubt there's any way to stop being nervous about surgery beyond to have it over and done. The only way I've ever stopped being terrified of being on the table (dentally; I haven't had major non-oral surgery yet) has been to wait until the pain is so constant and terrible that the sweet embrace of death might be a welcome release. I do not recommend this. ;)

But: my mother had a hysterectomy almost thirty years ago, when medical science was three decades behind where it is today. I won't say she enjoyed it. I will say that to the best of my knowledge it's never given her any sort of trouble in all that time. I've often envied her freedom from certain womanly issues enough to wonder whether, if I have to have my appendix out someday, they'd be willing to take that too while they're at it. ;)

You'll be fine, you know, but lots of hugs from me 'cause I know it's scary--I don't think you need lots of wishes for luck but you've got mine anyway.



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