Oh, there it is.

[breoaigit]

Okay, now I'm starting to get scared. I'm still all sorts of grateful to know what's wrong with me, and how it can be fixed. That's starting to take a rather firm back seat to this sudden thing staring me in the face: SURGERY. I do not like being cut upon. I freaked out having my wisdom teeth removed (internally...I didn't yell or scream or thrash, etc.) There are few things in this world I fear, and surgery is one of them. The others are remote control toys and driving over bridges. Yes, really. Anyway, I know logically it's a fairly straightforward procedure. Emotionally, little bells are going off to the effect of, "Uh, what did I just agree to?" Ah, well, all part of the adjustment process. Now here's the funny part...the part of this I'm the most squicked by is the catheter. I know it's necessary, but I wish like mad it were not. I do not remember if I've ever had one before, and if I did, it was 34 years ago. I did have a bit of time where I was slightly sad at the sheer permanence of no longer being able to have children, for all that I don't want any in the first place, and it'd be a logistical PITA to get pregnant anyway. I think it's just that the option is firmly being taken away now. I'm not sad about that right at this moment though. Maybe I won't be anymore.

On the other hand, I'll be able to go off BC for the first time in 22 years. ;)